Do you ever find yourself engaged in an amazingly hearfelt, inspiring, personal or just damn real conversation at 3am? If you’ve ever pulled an all nighter and partied until the sun rises, then I’m going to assume that yes you have. On the weekend, I found myself sitting in the middle of a roundabout with a friend of mine and a skateboard at 3am. There were a few street lights on, and we just sat staring down the middle of the road getting lost in conversation. We talked about what inspires us, what scares us and our grand plans in life. And then I kind of learnt how to skate. I’m not sure why it happens at night, but something magical hits the air after midnight and you just seem to get lost in each others words. It was such a great and refreshing experience that I just had to share it with you! So here’s why 3am conversations are the best conversations and why you should have more of them.
Darkness offers a refuge. There’s no bright lights around, everything is cast in shadows and there’s no judgement or reason for insecurity. Darkness takes all of those away in the most comforting way. I think it also offers a small sense of rebellion. You sit there and through your peripheral vision you catch a glimpse of the time and think to yourself ‘man it’s late but I don’t even care.’ There’s something exciting about being up at 3am and it’s even better if you have someone to share that with.
Alcohol may or may not play a part. It’s no lie that alcohol helps you loosen up a bit. And it’s usually at a house party or after a night out that these conversations usually happen. You definitely don’t need alcohol to have these chats, but let’s just say as a university student, it’s quite common.
Openness. A combination of the above two things lead to you and the people you’re talking to being open, vulnerable, trusting and honest. You seem willing to share things with people that you wouldn’t normally share. More willing to delve deeper, self reflect, ask questions that you wouldn’t normally ask and know that you’re accepted for who you are. With this incredible sense of openness, you can just unleash anything onto the world.
Connection. With openness, comes connection. Whatever it is you talk about… travelling, studying, family, money, life or chocolate, talking about an issue openly creates a sense of connection with the other person. You get excited and inspired by what the other person is saying. And when you share your experiences, you see the other persons face light up with agreement. It’s such a powerful thing and this is why we must never underestimate the power of our words.
Long lasting friendship. The amount of genuinely amazing people I’ve befriended from one of these rogue 3am conversations can’t be counted. And it’s a special kind of friendship, because you’ll always look back on that one night, at 3am, when you were locked into conversation, as the moment you became friends.
Time escapes us all. You look at your watch again and suddenly its 4am, you’ve got to get up in a few hours to go to work or study and you wonder where the nights gone. The thing is, time escapes us all. In the end, we all just want a little more time. And don’t you think that time spent being open, honest and real is time well spent?
Bring 3am to 3pm… Just because these conversations happen at 3am, doesn’t mean they’re restricted to happening only at 3am. Bring a sense of openness, honesty and curiosity into every conversation you have. Be a little vulnerable and ask meaningful questions. “Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.” These are the ones that people will remember you for.
When was the last time you had a 3am conversation?